Thursday, April 15, 2010

Tame That Toothpick!

Toothpicks are often used to skewer olives, hold pineapple chunks and cherries to the brim of a boat drink, or to keep the Saran Wrap from touching the frosting while transporting that delectable cake creation to your cousin's birthday party on the other side of town.  Other than that they should not see the light of day in public.  As your ever-watchful arbiter of good taste, etiquette and polite society (and repository of actual scientific knowledge re: today's subject), I have noticed with horror an upsurge in people picking their teeth in public.  Yikes!  Be ye so tempted, don't do it.  Toothpicks: a) damage the gums, b) damage the root surface, c) leave pieces of cellulosic material mixed with bacteria behind, and d) were replaced by the much more efficient and dentition-friendly dental floss eons ago.  (Floss is available in a variety of colors, flavors and containers to suit any decor.)  That doesn't mean that you floss in public either.  If that prime cut has "gristled" its way between your premolars and you just can't wait until you get home to remove it, then excuse yourself and retreat to the bathroom to floss and pick and pick and floss in private.  Save a tree and save me from puking, use floss instead of toothpicks - and do it in private.  The only correct use of the modern toothpick is as first stated.  Now to buy some shares in Johnson & Johnson, and mix up that boat drink!