Friday, April 23, 2010

Excise That Expletive!

F**k!  I said, "Fork!"  Sure I did.  Look, I know everyone's saying it, even members of the sweeter sex.  And I know the oft-promulgated argument that - in the latest box office biggie for instance - its use lends "authenticity" to the dialogue, etc., etc.  I don't care!  The use of expletives when you're out with the boys, diggin' or drinkin' or whatever, is fine with me.  I'm no shrinking violet.  (I've used worse, upon occasion, truth to tell.  The last time was back in 1972, I believe.)  What I'm talking about here is the habitual, continuous, every other sentence, casual, flippant use of expletives in everyday conversation.  It's more than unnecessary, more than disrespectful in mixed company, more than the inexorable degradation of the English language, more than an appalling indicator that the utterer is of questionable intelligence, it's mentally unhealthy!  The palpable shock to my system when I overhear such boorishness is taking weeks off my life, I'm convinced.  And let's be frank, these ears have listened to too much high volume rock and roll for too long - so I'm probably missing half the conversation in the first place!  Now, if I could have that fork please - I'll eat my forking cauliflower!