Friday, December 10, 2010

What Have We Learned?

As year end approaches, I thought I would review some of  basic tenets of The Brotherhood of The Balf as developed over the past 330 or so almost consecutive posts at this address.  You don't have to believe in every one of them, but you will if you know what's good for you.  And remember, paper money makes less noise when we pass around the collection plate.
1)  All people evolved equally; only luck and hard work differentiate us.
2)  Pizza is the most nearly perfect food on the planet.
4)  Secrets are to be kept ... secret.
5)  Pets don't belong on airplanes.
6)  Conserve water.
7)  Always observe April Fool's Day.
8)  Global Warming is real.
9)  Remember those who died for your freedom.
10) Always keep your microsomal enzyme system (MES) in tip-top shape.
11) Mind your manners if you have them; learn them if you don't.
12) Sailing is good, very good, for the soul.
13) Be selfish enough that you don't end up reliant on the charity of others.
14) Beware of flavoured baguettes.
15) Most mental illness is the result of caveman brains living in complex times, which is why it's so common.
16) Sarcasm is the lowest form of humour.
17) It's better to be groped than scoped by airport security.
18) Change your oil regularly.
19) Make sure you get enough Vitamin B.
20) Stress is a (major) cardiac risk factor, so relax.
21) Quackery can kill you (and so can the wrong sunscreen).
22) Money is flat and meant to be piled up.
23) Violence is bad.
24) Religious fanaticism is the root of all evil.
25) Never visit the sins of the father upon the child.
Words to live by.