Wednesday, January 26, 2011

The State of The Onion

There's something going on with The Onion - not that venerable website, but the vegetable.  Twice in the last week, an onion has zapped us (once my wife was the victim, and once yours truly succumbed).  We're not huge onion eaters, but my wife is an inveterate salad maker and Italian gourmet chef so we go through a couple of big ones (usually the red type, Turda - no kidding!) each week.  And we grow the little "green onions" in our garden each year we like them so much.  (Regular readers of this space will know there's no room for cauliflower out here.)  But last weekend I was blindsided with a piece of red onion about the size and thickness of a fifty-cent piece (a mythical denomination to anyone under forty I realize) supplied by my grandson.  Whoa Nelly!  Sinuses sucked dry and a tear in my eye, I made the best of it rather than drop DWB on the kitchen floor but that chunk of Allium cepa was still searing my senses hours later.  My regular toothbrushing routine became therapeutic rather than preventive that night.  The buds survived but that was my onion wake-up call.  Then last night my wife was onion-struck during dinner, while noshing her usual big salad of Seinfeld fame.  Never has she been moved to tears by a salad of her own creation in living memory - until last night.  Lacrymal glands gushing, she had to walk away from the offending salad bowl and collect herself.  So what's going on?  Are the onions just more potent, fresher - or genetically-modified - than usual?  Is this some kind of insidious garden plot plot?  Beware the onion, I say, until your humble scribe solves this one!