Monday, April 25, 2011

The Royal Melding

Let me say at the outset that I hate to waste space out here too on this topic, but I am chagrined every time I'm looking for a hockey game and stumble on the seemingly endless speculation about Kate Middleton's dress colour or which uniform the groom will deign to wear on The Big Day - whenever that is - so I have to get this off my chest.  (His name escapes me at present, but he's not the red-headed one who was spotted in Cowboys in Calgary in questionable company a few years ago - now that guy at least showed a bit of moxie and apparently he really likes just being one of the guys in Afghanistan.  Hair on ya, man!)  I'm afraid that I'm so hopelessly sick and tired of celebrity-worship and inherited haughtiness that I gaga and instinctively turn away from such details in an instant.  The bride's nice-looking though, any red-blooded male couldn't help but notice that.  Too bad that as a commoner (we're not exactly sure how common, actually) her family has had to spring for the Office of Heraldry to create a Middleton coat of arms to seal her betrothal to Britain's most famous dysfunctional family.  (Come to think of it, my grandsons already have that coat-of-arms thingy checked off so when they meet their princesses decades from now they're good to go, but I digress...)  The most interesting detail revealed yesterday that penetrated my anti-celeb force-field shield was that while the announced honeymoon destination is reportedly Balmoral Castle, the Queen Grandmum's 50,000 acre estate in Scotland (ostensibly so the couple can have some short "i" privacy), Middleton's minions have been seen buying up bikinis, so get ready Club Med just in case!  Oh, and Mr. Groom (I'm just so embarrassed that I can't remember his name), I know where you can find an Oilers uniform if that's what you choose (just add a sash and rollerblades), they finished dead last this year but (like you) people say they have a lot of potential.