Sunday, May 1, 2011

"Oui, un peu."

English translation: "Yes, a little."  So said the female NDP candidate to the reporter who asked her: a) if she would come on his French language radio show in the virtually 100% francophone riding in which she is running for election ("Non", was the answer to that one), and then b) if she spoke French.  Of course that was after Ruth Ellen Brosseau, running in the Quebec riding of Berthier-Maskinong√©, got back from a Las Vegas sojourn in the middle of the campaign.  In other words, she can/can't (votre choix, et merci Madame Vaucher) speak the language of her constituents or keep her calendar straight.  Yet she actually has a chance of being washed into Parliament in an NDP wave.  (Whereupon she should probably actually move to the riding from Ottawa, where she lives now.  It's called French Immersion, Ruthie.)  But this is only one of the "strong" candidates the NDP is running across the country.  Jack Lay It On told reporters, “Our team is ready to work hard and demonstrate that each and every day as they’re campaigning ...”  Right.  Like the NDP candidate from Ajax-Pickering who spent the first week of the current stump at an all-inclusive resort in the Dominican Republic.  (Give the guy a break, you say, he really wasn't expecting to get elected after all, so why ruin a great holiday?)  Or Dennis Perrier, the NDP candidate from Medicine Hat who's electioneering to bring socialism to power so the government can “pool tax money for the benefit of all.”  There's a new concept!  Where does the NDP get these guys, Butch?  Dave Nickle, the party’s candidate in Peterborough, ON, wants Canadian soldiers out of Afghanistan.  He claims they’re not fighting the Taliban, digging water wells, or protecting Afghan schoolgirls, but guarding a pipeline for the U.S.  Wacko.  Then there's David Laird (Burlington, ON) who knows who the real terrorists are: "the secret government operating in the U.S.A.”  Secret government?  Really, you mean not the regular government operating in the U.S.A.?  Hey, maybe Jack Lay It On will name Laird to be our Foreign Minister or let him lord over our intelligence agency - except it seems he doesn't have any, intelligence that is.  Who are these guys, Sundance?  And then there's NDP candidate James McLaren, who attempted to crack a joke about the Jewish Passover.  “Is that the month when Jewish people like to buy Japanese cars?”  (Nisan being a month in the Jewish calendar.)  A prime candidate for Human Rights czar I'd say!  You should have heard the peals of laughter - not!  And then there are all those university students who thought they'd run for the NDP because it would look good on their curriculum vitae.  Now they may have to choose between that great summer job they had lined up to work on their tan, and moving to Ottawa of all places for that inside job they never really thought would happen when Jack called them.  "But what about my third year of college?"  Don't worry Mr. Poli Sci, you'll be back in school before you know it, trust me!