Monday, October 31, 2011

Funereal Sector Outlook

Cheaper and deeper?
It occurred to me the other day that the funeral business might be a great one to invest in over the next decade or so.  Once in awhile I check the obits in the city of my birth just to see if old What's-His-Name has gone to meet his maker, and it seems that "the parlours" are a lot busier these days.  With the Boomer generation all starting to retire (and expire), there are a lot of funerals to go to - if you're into that sort of thing.  Mind you I'd rather get my egg salad sandwich at home any day - but those little puff pastries ... but I digress.  Yours Truly worked part-time after school and on the weekends for a couple of years at Martino's Meat Market ("you stab 'em, we slab 'em"), so I have a unique perspective on this dark art/science/enterprise.  Let's look at the fundamentals.  Death is, of course, recession-proof, so the foreboding economic climate is irrelevant to The Men in Black and their bankers.  Not only that, but it's one industry that's also immune to deflation - you can't hold off burying a loved one in the hopes that the price will be lower next week, because it's against the law.  And another thing, hired help is cheap and plentiful these days - as are the Batmobiles at the head of every procession, given the recent struggles in the auto industry.  Just try Googling "discount funerals" to see the meagre offerings currently out there.  I'm just sayin'.  You heard it here first!

The Good News:  Cremation is cheaper and preserves farmland!